North American society pretends to be egalitarian, less so these days, but many people don't understand how significant an effect class has on social life.
"There is some ability to leverage social skills into an amplifier, but it’s limited. The other interesting observation is that moving down is easy. "
Moving down is definitely the easier path. I live in a small, mostly working class rural hamlet. The "old money" hereabouts are the generational farmers who didn't subdivide the family farms and are now sitting on enormous tracts of real estate. They're still working class in their behaviour though. A couple of my friends labelled me the Redneck Debutante. Despite vast differences in our upbringing, I fit in well with the country folk who are my neighbours. I have much more trouble with the citiots, the new money arrivistes from the metropolises who try to throw their weight around.
I think trying to learn the unwritten rules you need to climb up the social classes is difficult and painful. I know a gentleman who put himself through the top private boy's school, then an elite university, then med school, all on full scholarships. He tried very, very hard to learn the ways of his classmates, studying, ORR-ing, reading Emily Post and Miss Manners, the works. He was very good, but there was an uncanny valley aspect to his behaviour, things that just weren't quite right. His wife, who came from one of the elite families, tried to help him and he resented her terribly. His children, who were steeped in that milieu from birth, mocked his social blunders. He was never really happy in his assumed class, but he was desperate to escape his origins. It was interesting, and terribly sad, to watch.
The citiots. My legacy plan is obviously a reconnection with non-urban roots. The tendency towards suspicion I had to manage comes from these moron arrivistes. The old land money is very much a thing, and another shoal to navigate. There are hierarchies, but different from the outside world. I’ve amassed more acreage than the total squandered by all the family boomers and greatests and I don’t even register on that scale. Which is fine. We in this SG circle all know what’s needed for sustainable anti-fragility.
I don’t think I could climb the class ladder if I wanted to. The codes are too opaque and the striver too internally risible. I can sympathize with the need to escape origins although when taken to an extreme it’s a path to tragedy. A common danger is thinking the solution is something external you find.
The existence of both SSH and class distinctions should be comforting to most people, yet it becomes this intimidating obstacle to some. Your recommendation to focus on "be classier" rather than try to change your class as the goal carries the day for me. You can step up the standards where you are and benefit both you and some of those interacting with you. These incremental changes are powerful.
Absolutely. And over time, those changes can affect big transformations. It’s why I’m focusing on “status” rather than class or SSH for practical purposes. It’s the one social marker you really can change.
That works. Terms can be endlessly chewed over while missing the point, which is to be personally and socially useful. A quick matrix that lets you triangulate things quickly is the goal.
North American society pretends to be egalitarian, less so these days, but many people don't understand how significant an effect class has on social life.
"There is some ability to leverage social skills into an amplifier, but it’s limited. The other interesting observation is that moving down is easy. "
Moving down is definitely the easier path. I live in a small, mostly working class rural hamlet. The "old money" hereabouts are the generational farmers who didn't subdivide the family farms and are now sitting on enormous tracts of real estate. They're still working class in their behaviour though. A couple of my friends labelled me the Redneck Debutante. Despite vast differences in our upbringing, I fit in well with the country folk who are my neighbours. I have much more trouble with the citiots, the new money arrivistes from the metropolises who try to throw their weight around.
I think trying to learn the unwritten rules you need to climb up the social classes is difficult and painful. I know a gentleman who put himself through the top private boy's school, then an elite university, then med school, all on full scholarships. He tried very, very hard to learn the ways of his classmates, studying, ORR-ing, reading Emily Post and Miss Manners, the works. He was very good, but there was an uncanny valley aspect to his behaviour, things that just weren't quite right. His wife, who came from one of the elite families, tried to help him and he resented her terribly. His children, who were steeped in that milieu from birth, mocked his social blunders. He was never really happy in his assumed class, but he was desperate to escape his origins. It was interesting, and terribly sad, to watch.
The citiots. My legacy plan is obviously a reconnection with non-urban roots. The tendency towards suspicion I had to manage comes from these moron arrivistes. The old land money is very much a thing, and another shoal to navigate. There are hierarchies, but different from the outside world. I’ve amassed more acreage than the total squandered by all the family boomers and greatests and I don’t even register on that scale. Which is fine. We in this SG circle all know what’s needed for sustainable anti-fragility.
I don’t think I could climb the class ladder if I wanted to. The codes are too opaque and the striver too internally risible. I can sympathize with the need to escape origins although when taken to an extreme it’s a path to tragedy. A common danger is thinking the solution is something external you find.
The existence of both SSH and class distinctions should be comforting to most people, yet it becomes this intimidating obstacle to some. Your recommendation to focus on "be classier" rather than try to change your class as the goal carries the day for me. You can step up the standards where you are and benefit both you and some of those interacting with you. These incremental changes are powerful.
Absolutely. And over time, those changes can affect big transformations. It’s why I’m focusing on “status” rather than class or SSH for practical purposes. It’s the one social marker you really can change.
That works. Terms can be endlessly chewed over while missing the point, which is to be personally and socially useful. A quick matrix that lets you triangulate things quickly is the goal.